


Nobody Wants a Broken Toy

by SleepingInTheMeadow



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:54:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26228248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingInTheMeadow/pseuds/SleepingInTheMeadow
Summary: The day before Regina hires the Huntsman to kill Snow White, they are both invited to a ball in Prince Eric’s kingdom, where Snow has an unpleasant run-in with a fellow monarch. Regina helps as much as she can for the princess, while debating her own feelings towards her and the imminent decision lying ahead. Romantic SnowQueen two-shot.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. The Way Our World Works

**Author's Note:**

> I said that I was going to sideline all other projects until some were finished, but I really really love this idea. The idea was inspired by “Moral of The Story” by Ashe. This is only going to be a one-shot, but I’m planning for it to be a long one. This takes place after Leopold’s death, but before Snow left the castle. I wanted to do very angsty stuff, and I really love it, but I’m not good at writing very angsty stuff. Please take care of yourselves, stay safe, send feedback, and I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Trigger warning for non-con/sexual abuse.

Regina

Her hauntingly miserable face moped around everywhere I went. She hasn’t followed me around the castle looking for attention for three years now, until that wretched king’s funeral ended two weeks ago. Since then, she hasn’t been a princess; she’s been a whining toddler following me around and refusing to eat while on the verge of hysterically sobbing in the middle of the dining hall. I nearly lost her trail multiple times, but she must have a locator spell on me if she can find me in less than two minutes.

I have a meeting with the most skilled Huntsman in the Enchanted Forest tomorrow, who can rid me of the child. Until then, Snow and I are attending a ball in Prince Eric’s kingdom tonight.

The maids adjusted my ball gown around me and finished curling and styling my hair. I felt a weird, poky feeling spread on my back, and I immediately knew Snow was there. She always made me feel watched when she was intruding. After a final fluff of my dress and a spritz of a strange hairspray, the maids complemented Snow on her dress and left.

“You look beautiful,” Snow said.

“What do you need?”

“I was just wondering if you’ve seen the pink flower necklace Daddy gave me.”

“I haven’t seen it. Go find a different necklace. We don’t have enough time to look for it.”

“But-“

“If you aren’t in the coach in two minutes, I’m leaving without you.” Snow rushed out of the room and sped to her own chambers, while I grinned. Before leaving, I opened my vanity drawer and snatched the pink necklace, before stuffing it into the folds of my dress and leaving. I descended the stairs and waved at the maid standing at the door. I heard footsteps running down the stairs as I helped myself into the carriage.

Snow panted and said goodbye to the maid as she accepted the hand offered to her by the footman. She pulled herself into the carriage and sat beside me. After the carriage doors closed, I moved so I was sitting across from her. She pouted for a second, before straightening up and adjusting the different necklace around her neck, while I had hers in my pocket.

For the carriage ride, Snow talked about the book she’s been reading, how she wants to start knitting as a hobby, and how she wants a pet cat. I didn’t say any more than I had to, or else I’d yell at her and immediately kick her out of the coach. I don’t doubt that the entire forest could hear their princess going on and on about naming her cat ‘Willow.’ Soon enough, she was going to be _their_ problem, not mine.

The coach couldn’t arrive soon enough, but we were almost early for the ball. Still, people were crowded everywhere. I could easily pick out each kingdom ruler, but I didn’t know a fraction of anyone here. Snow knew even less. She stuck to my side as I found a glass of wine and socialized long enough for people to know I attended. The girl beside me grew more restless with each passing monarch, so I took her to meet King George’s son, James.

I watched as the pair talked, laughed, and danced. She seemed to be enjoying his company, so I didn’t give her a second of my thoughts. I danced with many people that night, including King George. My least favourite part of these gatherings are the people; especially the men. They were all pigheaded and looking for someone to keep their bed warm, without thinking about what women want. I used to think that these men were mental, but I quickly learned that this behaviour is normal. Especially from your own husband.

I wonder what Snow would do if she found out what her father did to me. I guessed that she would still defend him, tell me that I was asking for it in some way, that he didn’t know I didn’t enjoy it. He definitely knew I didn’t enjoy it, unless he thought my sobs meant ‘continue.’

As the night progressed, the men didn’t stop undressing me with their eyes, but the most disturbing thing was that they were lusting for Snow as well. I’ll admit, she has a pretty face and a nice body, but she’s sixteen. The exact age I got married to Leopold. Thinking about it like that didn’t make it seem any less perverted. She didn’t see them, though. She was too busy staring after James.

I remember when I was once the object of her affections. She was about as subtle as these men around us with her lingering gazes aimed at me. I hated it, but right now, I missed it, just a little bit. I liked the thought of being the apple of one’s eye, even if it was a goody-two-shoes teenager. I’d rather be the apple of one’s eye than the meat for the predators in this ballroom.

“Queen Regina, it would be an honour to dance with you,” A young man said, bowing and offering me a hand. I curtsied and took his hand, following him to the dance floor. From what I could gather, this was Prince Eric.

We danced around, and as I finished twirling, I caught a glimpse of ebony hair flowing behind a running woman, holding the hand of a dirty blonde man in royal garb. Before I could get a better glimpse of the two, Prince Eric spun me again and I was facing him again. Snow could handle herself, so why should I worry about her?

After the dance was finished, another man approached me, then another. By the time a fourth man waltzed with me, I began to worry slightly. Snow should’ve been back by now. I abruptly halted our dance and excused myself to find Snow.

A muffled voice met my ears and I ran down corridors to find myself outside of a guest bedroom. James emerged from the room, slightly out of breath and a smug smile shaping his lips. I brushed past him and went inside, where Snow was on the bed, covered only by the white and red-splotched sheets, sobbing on more bloodied bedcovers. I immediately forgot all about my hate for her, until she sobbed louder and drew her legs up to her chest.

“What happened?” I asked her. Her face broke into something indescribable as she choked on gargled tears and stuttered. She wasn’t able to speak, she just gestured to the blood-stained sheets, then to herself, then to James.

“Did you say yes?” I asked. She shook her head hard and laid down over the scarlet splotch, drawing her arms close to herself and fumbling them together. I sat up on the bed next to her and pet her hair while she cried. Eventually, her cries went softer, until silent tears consistently flowed down her porcelain cheeks.

“I know how it feels,” I murmured to her. “I was younger than I am now when a man took advantage of me. He thought I wanted to, but I didn’t.” I heard Snow sniffle and shift on the bed. She sat up and looked at me with large, puffy eyes.

“It was my father,” she whispered. “He was one of them.” Her face, stained in tears and slightly pink, tugged at my empathy. I stroked her cheek and nodded, feeling the familiar sting behind my eyes before I started crying with Snow.

“Men just take what they want without asking. It’s the way this world works.”

“Well maybe it shouldn’t,” Snow whispered. “We can speak up, encourage other people to do so, and then people won’t take what they want.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Dear. Male monarchs hold much higher power than women. Even if we spoke out about it, they’d just silence us.”

“Then I’m not going to marry a man,” Snow said defiantly, through a wave of fresh tears.

“You’ll have to. You’ll just have to cross your fingers and hope he isn’t as bad as others.”

“Well I’ll run away and marry a woman if it means I can keep my body to myself unless I say so.”

“You have a kingdom to run. You can’t just run away,” I said to her.

“Then I’ll marry a princess.” I chuckled and pressed my forehead to hers.

“Is this okay? Do you want some space?” I shuffled away from Snow, until her hand on my leg stopped me.

“No. I want you here, very much so.”

“Okay then. Do you think talking about it will make you feel better?” Snow bit her lip and nodded slowly. I took her bottom lip out from her teeth and told her not to hurt herself. She smiled fondly, then sobbed.

“He told me he wanted to be alone with me. I went with him, and he started kissing me. I didn’t mind it, until he started untying my corsets. I said I wasn’t ready, that I didn’t want to, but he ignored me.” I rubbed her bare arm as she stumbled over her words and stuttered her way through descriptions of his wandering hands, his snarls each time Snow fought back, and the following punishments she got for it. That’s when she swept away the covers and showed me the side of her leg, almost completely blue and black. I gasped and sobbed quietly, before hugging Snow again and pulling the sheets back over her leg.

“You don’t have to continue,” I told her gently.

“There was blood everywhere. I didn’t know it would hurt so much. Everything hurts.”

“Do you think I could see everything? I want to know where he hurt you.” Snow nodded and shyly stood up and released the blanket from around her body.

Crescent shapes were imprinted on her hips, accompanied by faint streaks of red. Her back and stomach were scratched up, fingerprint-shaped bruises painted her pale skin with an ungodly black colour, and her normally-milky skin was red with scrapes, small scratches already printed into scars over her skin, and random red marks were everywhere.

“Oh Honey, I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I couldn’t _begin_ to apologize. I struck up conversations with Dukes while Snow was shouting in protest. I was dancing while James was digging his fingernails into Snow’s hips, seeking release from her.

“It’s not your fault,” she murmured sadly. “I did this to myself.”

“You didn’t do any of this. Why would you think that?”

“Because he invited me off to somewhere private, so I should’ve told him that I didn’t want to.”

“You didn’t know what he was planning on doing. This was not your fault.” Snow didn’t protest anymore. She crawled back under the covers and laid her head on my lap. I brushed her hair with my fingers again, while her tears flowed freely once more.

I’m not sure how much time had passed, but I suggested that we go home and Snow take a hot bath to ease her aches. She got dressed while I ran my fingers over the scratches and fingernail marks on her back. I could feel her shiver under me, but she didn’t protest. Before she pulled up her dress, I pressed a small kiss to the small of her back, near another bruise. She audibly gasped, but didn’t say anything.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then nodded. I opened the door for her and she left the room. I flipped the sheets so that the blood was less noticeable, and left a note saying I was sorry for the mess.

We went back to the ballroom, which was still teeming with hundreds of people still dancing. We ducked our heads and snuck around the people surrounding us. Snow dodged the men in particular, keeping her arms crossed from touching them and jumping every time one moved. At this moment, I vowed that Prince James was next on my hit list.

We made it out of the ballroom and found our coach a little ways from the palace entrance. Snow hurriedly climbed in and refused the hand of the coachman. Once I climbed inside the coach, she was already clinging to my arm and resting her head on my shoulder.

This woman isn’t as heartless as I thought she was. She didn’t kill Daniel out of cold blood. Maybe that meeting with the Huntsman could be postponed. Maybe even cancelled. Suddenly, this cheerful, innocent child became something completely new to me; a scared, broken, mature young woman who needs some love that isn’t toxic or unwanted. She wasn’t a child that I held a grudge against anymore. She was like me.

She nearly fell asleep on the way to the castle, but we got there much faster than we did to the ball. I helped Snow out of the carriage and asked the maids to draw a bath.

“Bring it to my chambers,” Snow whispered. I looked to the maids to make sure they heard, and they nodded. I led Snow up the stairs and to her room, where I left her before I ran down to the kitchen to ask for a snack.

When I got back upstairs, Snow had changed from her ballgown to a nightgown. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out the window.

“Why are you being so kind to me?” Snow asked. “You’ve completely ignored me since you began living here, and yet, you’re here now. Why is that?”

“Because I can empathize with you, because this is a fate I wouldn’t wish onto anyone, and because maybe you need to be loved.” She seemed to be considering this for a moment, before smiling and nodding.

“That’d be nice,” she muttered, before launching back into my arms again. After all the embraces she’s gotten from me, my arms might be moulded to fit her now.

We sat back down on the bed until the maids came in with a bowl of grapes and a bathtub. More maids came in with buckets of water and filed the tub. Once that was done, they added scented soaps and salts and left. Snow slowly slipped her nightgown off her body and climbed into the tub. I popped a grape into my mouth before getting up off her bed to retire to my own chambers.

“Wait,” Snow called out. “Can you stay with me please?” I smiled and nodded. She held out her arm to grab me and pull me down beside her. I slid the ottoman at the foot of her armchair over to the tub to sit on while she washed herself. “Do you think you could talk? About anything but tonight please. I just need something else to think about.”

“I had a dream last night. I was living in a cabin in the woods, and I lived with animals because I was the only human around.” Snow laughed, the first genuine laugh I heard from her since before the ball. She scrubbed herself clean from the dried blood on her skin, but the ghost of his touches were still there. I always felt like that after Leopold’s latest visit.

After she was finished washing, she sat in the tub with her legs curled up to her chest. I slid off the ottoman and knelt down beside the tub to take one of Snow’s hands and rub her knuckles. Father always did this when I was upset, and it worked within minutes.

After a few minutes of light talk, Snow got out of the tub and wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel.

“Would you like for me to stay the night?” I asked.

“That would be nice,” Snow whispered. I smiled and nodded, and without removing my gown, climbed into bed with Snow.

“You can change out of your dress. You don’t have to wear that all night.”

“Oh thank God,” I exclaimed. She giggled and directed me to the drawer of her nightclothes. I pulled out a nightgown my size and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Untie my corset please?” Snow’s hands threaded the strings undone with nimble fingers. I peeled off my dress and avoided meeting Snow’s eyes as I stepped into the nightgown and pulled the sleeves over my arms. I climbed into bed with her and smiled, before blowing out the candle on the nightstand. I didn’t expect Snow to sleep, and I didn’t expect myself to sleep either. I heard the sheets twisting, and Snow’s face was in front of me, lit by the dull moonlight streaming through the sheer curtains.

“Thank you for tonight. I’m not sure what I would’ve done without you there.”

“You don’t need to thank me, dear.” Snow tilted her head and smiled gently.

“Men are overrated,” she muttered, before cupping my cheek and kissing me on the forehead. I closed my eyes, and fluttered them back open when Snow’s lips left my skin. I didn’t know how touch-starved I was until I wanted more of her. I ignored my childish thoughts and turned over on my side, grinning.

* * *

I reluctantly left Snow’s chambers in the early morning, leaving nothing but a note, telling her where I was headed.

I brought a cup of tea with me, in the hopes that it will make me awake enough to find Prince James. Last night, I sent out a guard to find out where Prince James was located this morning, and lucky for me, he was in a tavern on the side of the road, sleeping off a night of heavy drinking.

He was an entire kingdom away, but it was worth it. I swept my hands around my body and purple smoke surrounded me. The area around the tavern was clear, save for my guard waiting for me. I swiftly asked him which room James was located in. He said room number 3. That didn’t matter. After I dismissed him, I thought about how I should go about assassinating the King’s son.

I poofed myself into a tree high enough to shoot an arrow through the open window and to his sleeping form. It was hard to find the right angle to hit him, but it was doable. I conjured myself a bow and arrow and took aim. I smiled devilishly as my fingers released the tip of the arrow. I shot him straight through the right side of his abdomen, and I couldn’t see the collateral damage as I fled the scene before anyone knew what happened.

I was back at the castle before anyone knew I was gone. Snow was still asleep when I arrived, but she was looking for me in her sleep. Her face was scrunched in concern and she was shifting slightly. I had to admit, she looked gorgeous.

I snuck under the covers and watched her face relax. Her eyes flickered open and focused on me. She grinned at me and shifted closer.

“Hi,” she muttered. I smiled back at her, and instead of greeting her, I cupped her cheek and ran a thumb over her bottom lip, silently asking for permission. She caught on and nodded as I removed my thumb and replaced it with my lips. She was soft and warm, like what cuddling up to a bunny would feel like. I pulled back and smiled again.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Better, I think.” I nodded and tried going back to sleep. Drowsiness tugged at my consciousness, and I could tell Snow was still sleepy.

“Your Majesty?” Someone called from outside the door.

“What is it?” I demanded grumpily.

“You have a guest? He said you had an appointment with him.”

“Tell him I need to cancel on him.”

“But Your Majesty-“

“Tell him to _leave_ please.”

“Who did you have an appointment with?” Snow asked curiously.

“Just a blacksmith. I wanted new armour for the knights, but I’m rescheduling.”

“Oh. Okay.” Snow drifted back off to sleep, but I thought. Maybe it’d be best if Snow forgot all about this. Love was a dangerous weapon, and I don’t want anyone using it against me. But Snow has actually made me happier than I have ever been with Leopold, and that was something, right? I wanted my happy ending, and now that I know what that feels like, why should I have it taken away?

I didn’t deserve it. I waved my hands in the air and pressed my index finger to her forehead. Then I poofed myself down to the Huntsman, where he was just leaving the palace.

“It turns out I’ll need your services after all.” I reached into my pocket, where Snow’s necklace was still residing and watched it vanish from my hands. If it worked, her necklace was around her neck, with my own personal touch to it; pitch-black petals and a shimmering, sparkly centre. I couldn’t risk anything. Especially Snow’s life with a monster. This was for the best, wasn’t it? That’s the question I’ve been debating for years. Things could’ve been different, but monsters don’t deserve happiness. Princesses do. If only I knew what princesses wanted. If only she forgot _permanently._


	2. Reopen Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t planning on making a second part, but I’m gonna do it cause I really need some angst. This fanfic is going to have no particular placement on the complicated timeline of Once Upon a Time, but it is somewhere after the curse was broken. So without further ado, please review, they always make my day, and I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Trigger warning again for mentions of sexual assault

Regina hadn’t seen that necklace in far too long. The black-petal necklace. She remembers it once being pink before she decided it needed a touch of darkness. Just like Snow. It was now hanging around Snow’s neck as she grinned at David from across the table. It made her guilt sting once more.

Her plans followed through like she originally planned, but it didn’t feel the same, knowing the vulnerable teenager that Snow hid behind her rainbows and bright grins. So many times over the years, Regina thought back to that night and wondered if she made a mistake. She had agreed that love was, indeed, weakness and she needed to take care of her particular weakness, but she could’ve found love. It was entirely possible, but just like that man with the lion tattoo, she refused to give in to prospect that Daniel wasn’t her truest love.

Now that her curse is broken, she misses Mary Margaret, because while she was insipidly annoying, she was also like that girl who curled up in her lap, just as understanding of their broken world as she was. Regina turned back to her coffee and downed the paper cup before throwing it into the trash and leaving. She was getting awfully lonely. She considered giving Snow her memories back once again, but this time, her guilt won. She just wanted that part of Snow back, and to not feel guilty, even if she only ever saw short glimpses of the girl before. It sounded shallow of Regina to want the particularly vulnerable Snow, but she just didn’t want to admit she wanted _every_ part of the woman.

Regina got into her car, slammed the door, and groaned. She needed a drink, and it wasn’t even eleven in the morning. It was either a drink she needed, or Snow. She hasn’t ever admitted to wanting Snow since before she cast her curse.

She took a deep breath before starting her car and pulling out of Granny’s, trying to fill her thoughts with work instead of Snow White.

—————————————————

Regina finished her vial of memory potion as the grandfather clock in her vault chimed six times. She sighed and pocketed the vial. She had fifteen minutes to get ready for Snow’s visit. She cleaned up the ingredients she used and put them back in her cupboards. She dusted any remnants off her skirt and adjusted her jacket. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror across the room and could see the tiredness in her eyes. She went back to her mansion in a flash, forgetting about cleaning up her appearance in favour of a short nap. She already had her lasagna ready and was just waiting for Snow. She laid down on the couch and rested her head on a pillow.

A knock at the door startled her slightly and forced her off the couch to answer. She ran over to the door and took a deep breath before letting Snow inside.

“Hello, Regina.”

“Hello, Snow. Care for a drink?”

“A drink would be lovely, whatever you’re having, please,” she replied. Regina nodded and went to fix their glasses of wine in her study, leaving Snow in the den. She pulled out the vial from her breast pocket and kept her movements small as she poured the vial into the drink on her right. She mixed it slightly by jostling the glass and turned back around.

“How about we have our wine with dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“Didn’t I say I would be making dinner?”

“It must’ve slipped my mind,” Snow muttered. “What did you make?”

“Lasagna, of course. Come to the kitchen and I’ll dish up our plates.” Snow nodded and left to the dining room. Regina pulled out two plates and cut the lasagna into squares, putting the rest of the dish in the fridge. She brought out the plates when Snow was getting comfortable in a chair at the table. She placed the plate in front of Snow with a fork and knife.

“Dig in.” Snow smiled softly, but frowned at her plate.

“Despite what you think, it’s not poisoned.” Snow side-eyed Regina wearily. “I would never ruin the taste of my lasagna with poison. _Wine is a different story, though_ , Regina thought mirthlessly. She started eating her own plate as she felt hunger settle into her stomach, her lasagne being the only thing she ate that day. She was too nervous to eat, and was no stranger to skipping meals.

“This is amazing, Regina. You might need to give me your recipe,” Snow commented. Regina smiled and hummed. Snow frowned at her own hands once more. “I have a question.”

“What is it?”

“Why did you invite me over?”

“Let’s call it a peace offering.” Snow nodded.

“Then why wasn’t David invited?” Regina froze for a minute. She hadn’t thought this far.

“I...hurt you the most, therefore I believed it would be more beneficial if I cleared the air with us first.” Snow seemed to agree with the answer and hummed her reply before taking a sip from her wine. Regina made the potion potent enough for a sip of wine to do the job and give her back the stolen memories.

It didn’t take long until Snow was blinking hard.

“You _bitch,”_ she whispered, “you spiked my _wine.”_ Regina stood up and hovered near her.

“It’s nothing personal, dear, but I promise it’ll make sense when you wake. Until then, sleep, Snowflake.” Snow’s nose crinkled at the old nickname. Her body gave into the sleepiness and she passed out in her chair, nearly falling off the side. Regina gracefully hoisted Snow onto her shoulder and took her to the couch, grabbing a blanket off the armchair as she went. With as much poise as before, she lowered Snow off her shoulder and onto the couch, draping the blanket over her slender body before leaving to grab her lasagna and wine. Even if she drugged her former-stepdaughter, that didn’t mean she wasn’t still hungry.

She returned and sat on the armchair across from Snow. She figured once she woke up, she would need her space. Regina finished her dinner, but Snow still wasn’t awake, so she picked up the book she was reading and got lost in the pages.

Some time later, she heard stirring on the couch, followed by a few small sobs. Regina jumped from her seat and kneeled next to Snow.

“Snow, are you—“

“What did you do to me? What kind of sick dream was that?” Snow’s cheeks were stained with tears, and she was slightly tripping over her words.

“That wasn’t a dream. It’s a memory I took of yours.”

“No, th-that’s not possible.” I didn’t respond and stared at her. “Oh my god, it wasn’t a dream,” she sobbed. Regina moved closer, brushing a hand on her arm.

“Why did you help me? Back then, I mean.”

“Because I wanted to, and because I knew where you were coming from.” Snow cried harder and clutched onto my arm. I could feel a teardrop fall on my hand. I stood up and scooted onto the couch, wrapping my free arm around her waist.

“I have so many questions,” Snow whispered.

“I’ll answer them all.” Snow nodded and fumbled over her words, worse than anytime I’ve ever seen her stutter. “Take your time, sweetheart.” She nodded again, burying her head against my shoulder. I felt her mouth mutter against my sleeve.

“You have to speak up, dear.” Snow removed her mouth from my sleeve.

“It feels like it just happened.”

“I’m afraid it’s a side effect of the potion.” Guilt shot through Regina at what she did to her, even if taking her memories was wrong in the first place. “Do you need anything?” Snow shook her head. Fingers dug into her blouse and held Regina tighter to the woman beside her.

“I’m sorry for doing this to you,” Regina muttered.

“You didn’t do this to me. James did.”

“I had the choice to give you your memories back.”

“No, I appreciate you did this.”

“Why is that?”

“Just because.” Snow smiled at her through the tears. She could see a movement out of the corner of her eye. Snow was grappling onto the black flower necklace and tugging slightly. I pulled her hands away.

“Don’t hurt that pretty little neck of yours,” Regina tutted. Snow bit her lip forcefully instead. Under her fingers, Regina could see bruises forming within seconds. She trailed her eyes up her bare arms and watched scratches form.

Snow could see it too and clawed at every blooming injury angrily. She cried out in pain, tears coming down harder than before.

“I didn’t know that was an effect of the potion too.” She whimpered in response. “If I knew that, I would never have done that to you.” Snow drew blood from her lip and groaned in pain.

“It hurts,” she whined, shifting her legs. I drew in a shaky breath while pulling the blanket off Snow’s abdomen, registering the small amount of blood staining the couch, the same blood that stained the sheets so many years ago, and the one that now stained Snow’s jeans.

“Does it hurt...down there?”

“Yes,” Snow ground out, wincing. The tears flowed consistently down her cheeks and dripped from her chin to her chest. Regina nearly cried herself.

“I’m so sorry,” Regina whispered. “I’m so stupid, I should’ve known this would’ve happened.”

“I’m fine, Regina.”

“What about the bruises? Those will last at least two weeks. What will you say to David?”

“Can’t you just heal me?”

“I don’t have light magic. I can’t.”

“Then I’ll tell him the truth; that his twin did this.” Regina scrunched her eyebrows.

“I’m so sorry, Snow.” She felt her eyes get wet with unshed tears.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Snow cupped her cheek. “You didn’t mean it, and I’d rather feel like this than not know for the rest of my life.”

“This never should have happened in the first place. I should’ve been watching more closely at the ball, I should’ve known that you were in trouble.”

“We’re not pointing fingers at anyone here, especially you. Okay? Just keep cuddling with me.”

“I’d love to, but you need to clean yourself up.”

“In a minute,” was Snow’s half-hearted excuse as she hugged Regina close. Any closer and their atoms would be the first to touch each other.

She could smell the cinnamon, vanilla, and berry scent of Snow and revelled in it. Her body was so warm and inviting, she almost fell asleep before remembering that Snow was bloody.

“How about we recreate history and get you in the bathtub,” Regina asked, trying to add a bit of humour to the situation. Snow’s body shook with a silent chuckle and she nodded.

“As long as you’ll stay there with me.”

“Even better, I’ll give you a massage like you used to like.” Snow nodded.

“I always loved when you gave me a massage. You would do it so much gentler than Johanna or any of my other chambermaids. I miss it.” Snow smiled reminiscently with Regina.

“I must admit, I do to.” Snow grinned with a sparkle in her eye and got off the couch slowly, so as not to cause her any more aching. I followed her up the stairs and into the en-suite bathroom to start the bath. I added a pack of bath salts and lit some candles.

“Just relax, okay? You’re safe with me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.” They waited on the edge of the bath for the water to fill. Once it reached a reasonable height, Regina switched the water off. It was then that she remembered with the clear water, she would see Snow’s body. She swallowed thickly and turned around as Snow stripped and shakily sunk into the bath.

“You can turn back around,” Snow said. Regina hesitated, but Snow got the hint.

“I don’t mind if you see me. You’ve seen me naked before, and if it really makes you uncomfortable, the bathtub is deep enough that you could sit on the floor next to the edge and only see my face.” Regina felt odd being reassured by Snow for something as simple as this.

“But I’m supposed to give you a massage.”

“You wouldn’t be able to see me, Regina. Do I really make you that uncomfortable?” Regina turned around a shook her head fiercely.

“No. God, n-no, I just—I want to—I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Snow smiled softly and held her hand out. Regina took it and scooted to the side of the tub. “You had questions for me, didn’t you? Are you feeling better to ask?” Snow nodded.

“Why now, did you give me my memories back?”

“Because guilt overtook me so much that I needed you to know, so I could get it off my chest. I’m sorry, that sounds selfish of me.”

“But I’m thankful you did it, even though it may not seem like it now.” Regina swallowed the lump in her throat. “Why did you take them?”

“Because you were so hurt, and I didn’t want to see you like that, but also because we kissed, and if I let it develop further...”

“I see. You were protecting yourself.” Snow smiled knowingly. “You know, if I hadn’t had my memories removed, I would’ve made you happy.”

“I wasn’t capable of happiness at that time. Later on, I believe so, but at the time...” Snow nodded her understanding. “I have a question for you.”

“Okay...”

“What do you think you’re going to do about David?”

“I’ll tell him what happened, I’ll tell him that I love him, but it’s just too much, and I’ll either leave or I’ll take a few months to process. I don’t think it could be the way it used to. If you imagined it with Daniel, if his twin did that to you, you’d feel the same way, I’m sure.”

“I would.” Snow smiled.

“I think it’s settled then. I can’t be with him after that, as much as I want to make this better.” Regina nodded and furled her lip. She stroked a hand on the side of Snow’s face. She let her touch longer, before pulling back quickly. Snow shook her head as if she was disagreeing to something in her head and grabbed Regina’s hand, bringing it back to her face. She smiled reassuringly.

“Do you think I can I get that massage now?” Snow smiled gleamingly, turning Regina’s brain to mush.

“Yes, of course.” Snow turned around and Regina lifted her hands to begin massaging Snow’s shoulders. Her skin was so soft, and her back was almost untouched from scratches. Snow made little noises of contentment that made her heart beat faster in excitement. She kneaded her shoulders, then moved to do her neck, arms, and sides.

“Is that okay?”

“It’s perfect,” Snow sighed. Regina smiled and continued until she massaged every part of her body that wasn’t overstepping her boundary.

“I’ll grab you a towel to dry off with. If you want, the guest room is open and I have pyjamas you can borrow.”

“Do you think I could join you? In your room?” Regina smiled.

“Of course you can.” Regina stood up and averted her eyes as she looked for a towel. She heard water dripping, which she guess was Snow getting out of the tub. Regina covered her eyes and tossed the towel behind her.

“I’m not Medusa, it’s fine if you look at me.”

“I don’t want to disrespect you, make you uncomfortable, or accidentally cross a barrier,” Regina stated. Snow huffed.

“I already told you, I don’t mind.” Regina rolled her eyes behind her fingers and huffed, before removing her fingers. Snow was already wrapped in her towel, but the amount of skin showing was making her flush. Snow giggled.

“See? You’re not dead.” Regina smirked.

“I know _that.”_ Snow giggled even more. Regina already felt her irritation drift off into the night after hearing her laugh. “Are you okay? Do you need any heat packs for sores?”

“No. I’ll be fine, they aren’t bothering me at the moment.”

“Good. Then I’ll get you a towel.”

“...I already have a towel.”

“I meant pyjamas.” Regina rushed out of the room, leaving Snow with furrowed eyebrows. She’s never seen Regina flustered over her words like she was during the bath and after. She smiled to the empty room. In the midst of her bad memories of that night, she forgot about the kiss they shared. She closed her eyes and smiled wider as she willed it to the forefront of her mind so she could rewatch it over and over. Regina brushing the tip of her finger over her bottom lip, then leaning in to kiss her soundly. She knows Hercules took her first kiss, but now, she wishes it was her kiss with Regina.

“...Snow?” Regina stood leaning against the doorway with pyjamas draped over her arm. Snow flung a hand to her chest and her eyes flung open.

“Oh, you scared me.” Snow and Regina shared a chuckle.

“What were you thinking about?” Snow didn’t want to lie. She bit her lip and stared anywhere but at Regina.

“When we kissed,” was all she said. Regina smirked and moved closer.

“Do you regret it?”

“The opposite,” Snow muttered. She tried for a shy smile.

“So...you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you now?” Snow shook her head. Carefully, Regina laid a hand on her porcelain skin and brushed her cheek with a thumb. She wound her other hand around Snow’s neck and leaned forward slowly, letting Snow back away if she wanted. She didn’t, and let Regina’s plump lips meet hers. She sighed into her mouth and let Regina’s tongue brush against hers. Snow took a few steps forward and led Regina into the bedroom, never letting their lips detach from one another’s. What first was a gentle kiss became rough and rushed.

Snow pulled on the lapels of her jacket, shoving it off her shoulders. Regina broke the kiss right away, pulling her jacket back into place.

“Snow, no.”

“You don’t want me?” The heartbroken look on Snow’s face was enough to break Regina’s own. She looked on the verge of tears.

“Honey, no. I want you more than you know, but you’re still married and you’re just getting reacquainted with your memories and the feelings that were brought with it.”

“I wanted you both before and after that memory. I’m not dealing with any new feelings when it comes to my attraction to you.” Regina smiled, but stopped once she realized what she was doing.

“You’re still dealing with what happened to you that night, and we should wait until you speak to David.”

“You’re right.” Regina beamed. “Am I still allowed to kiss you?”

“I would be mad if you didn’t,” Regina joked, cupping her cheeks and kissing her forehead. Snow visibly relaxed, so she continued pressing kisses all over her face. She reached Snow’s impatient lips last, bringing them into a deep kiss.

“Here. Go change into these and I’ll change in my closet.” Snow nodded and pecked Regina on the cheek.

While Regina was changing, she realized she could’ve had this in the Enchanted Forest. To be fair, she was in a debatable state of mind at the time, but she could’ve had Snow. She wouldn’t feel regret, but if they didn’t dance around each other like they did, Snow wouldn’t have Emma and Regina wouldn’t have Henry.

She found Snow cuddled up in bed, sheets cocooning her alabaster skin. She looked close to sleep, so Regina rushed to her side of the bed and climbed in beside her.

“Hold me please?” She heard a small voice ask her.

“Of course, dear.” She moved closer to Snow and wrapped her arms around her waist.

“Your sheets are so soft,” Snow whispered, giggling to herself. She almost sounded drunk. Regina found it adorable.

“Yes they are. Now sleep, Snowflake. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.” Snow held out her hand and extended her pinky. Regina took it with her own pinky and shook in a silent gesture.

“Pinky promise,” Regina whispered.

————————————————————

Regina didn’t think Snow could be any more adorable before bed when she’s sleepy, but she was proven wrong by Snow in the mornings. Despite what she thought, Snow wasn’t actually a morning person. She tried convincing her to stay in bed all day and use magic to get them whatever they want. Of course, Regina had to object and offer waffles for breakfast if she left bed.

“I don’t want to,” Snow whined into her pillow.

“You sound like a child,” Regina said, stroking her back. Snow giggled. “You also need to tell David about the...situation you’re dealing with. Is it because you’re still sore?”

“No, I’m feeling better now. Still a little sore _there,_ but it’s nothing too bad. I just don’t want to.”

“I know you don’t, but it has to be done if you’d like to...get farther with me,” she suggested.

“You mean I have to talk to him if I wanna see your boobs?” Regina laughed loudly.

“That’s one way to put it.” Snow grumbled. “You know I’d let you see my boobs anytime you want.” Snow nearly leapt off the bed.

“You would?”

“Looking, no touching, unless you tell David.” Snow grumbled and frowned.

“I’ll do it as soon as I can.”

“Why? Don’t wanna see me bare?” Regina teased.

“No, it’s just much more enjoyable to touch.”

“There’s your motivation. Now let’s go make pancakes.”

“You said we could have waffles.”

“Fine. Waffles. They’re the same thing.” Snow gasped and looked like Regina killed her dog.

“They are _not_ the same thing!”

“Look it up. Pancake and waffles recipes are the exact same.”

“Fine. But can I put bananas on it?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“And whipped cream?”

“No. Whipped cream isn’t very healthy.” Snow huffed.

“Fine. Just bananas.” Regina smiled and stroked her cheek. Snow beamed up at her. “Thanks for putting up with me.”

“It was my pleasure, and I assure you, you don’t have to apologize for anything. You’re amazing.” Snow’s nose scrunched at the complement. Regina smiled and smoothed her nose until it unfurled.

“You’re cute when your nose scrunches. And just in general.” Snow smiled softly.

“Your absolutely gorgeous,” she said back. Regina’s gotten many complements in her life, some either fake, and others genuine but she didn’t believe them. She knew Snow was genuine and even believed it herself. Before she thought about it too much, Regina took Snow’s hand and lifted them both off the bed.

“Now, would you want me to add chocolate chips into our waffles?”

“Really?”

“It’s a guilty pleasure of mine,” Regina admitted.

“I’ll remember that. I would like that a lot.” Regina kissed Snow’s forehead, then moved down to her nose, then her lips.

“Anything for you, my Snowflake.” Snow looked like her heart would burst in happiness. Her smile promised that the favour would be returned. That smile was Regina’s favourite.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you guys think? It hurt to write this, not gonna lie...


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